I realized later that I was more responding to things going on in me that your post touched off. Sorry for that. Going through all this old paper and photos really has awakened things in me I had forgotten. I have a him too, so I know what you mean about that. But it wasn't a Church him; they abused me later with the kinds of dogmatic and unloving and unhelpful admonitions while I was going through hell with my mentally ill husband, and after. It was connected in my mind anyway. And my compassion for you and your reaching out to God even when it all seems so far away, are very real and heartfelt. I feel sadness for your old pain, all the more because I understand what that was like from my own. And I feel joy for the quiet miracles that have come to your life.

Thanks for your hugs, my dear.