5th Sun of Lent

[hobgoblinn]

Far away friends will be pleased to know that the White Death has already almost melted off-- by the time I ventured out this afternoon, the streets were quite clear, as was my car. Almost everything is melted off my balcony as well. But that's not what I wanted to write about.

What I really want to do is rant more about the Good Monsignor and how he's decided (but has yet to speak to me personally) that Wee Hob's confirmation sponsor, a formidable grand old Lady of the Cathedral and a woman Wee Hob loves so much he would sooner cut off several limbs before venturing to disobey her in any way-- it nearly killed him to tell her what he'd done-- is NOT an acceptable chaperone for him at mass. I think he's honestly more scared of her than his godfather, really. I would be. Yeah, she's 88 years old, but though she be little, she is Fierce. If boy had not been glued to his seat and not unescorted Anywhere in the building since the directive for same came down, I could see it, but for him to say, "she can't control That Boy" really frosts my shorts.

But no, enough of that. The Gospel today. Jesus gets word that Lazarus is sick, but "tarries" a number of days before going to him, during which time, he dies and is buried. Over the past few years, this reading has hit me really hard in different ways. The first year I realized I was going to lose my kids no matter what I did, and the court stuff was really just a formality, I was so hurt and angry. All I could think, choking back tears, was an echo of Mary's words, "Lord if you had been here, my brother would not have died." God, if you had been there, my family would not have died.

Since then, I've dreaded this reading, of which a variant gets done every year during Lent. But every year, I hear something a little different, and it hurts a little less. And this year, I finally heard the faith of the bereaved, and the compassion of Jesus, who wept for his friends' pain, even knowing he was shortly about to make it all better. I'm not there yet, but I can hear it, and that's kind of a first.

So, progress. Of course, I was not completely on task the whole mass-- Ken Canedo's Mass of Glory, a gospel setting, sticks an Alleluia into the Amen after the elevation (with alternate words for Lent.) I pointed them out to my stand partner, our fearless leader pointed them out to us both-- and I had three measures to completely lose my mind and sing the wrong words anyway. I am such a loser. Still, I can think of worse ways to get my daily dose of humility.

And now, Wee Hob has decided he will cook dinner, so I need to get out the fire extinguisher. And then try to cobble several variant versions of the next part of In Loco into some coherent whole. Or better yet, scrap everything and start new here. Thanks to everyone who's read and commented on that and patted me on the head when I whine about it.

Hmm-- what's that I smell? One fire extinguisher, coming up.

Comments

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

It's sweet of Wee Hob to attemp dinner even if the results are less than stellar.

And I meant to say that Tigger is the perfect choice for him!

[usedtobeljs]

I'm sorry about the Monsignor -- but glad you heard something in the reading. Good thoughts to you!

[hobgoblinn.livejournal.com]

Yeah, been a convert for-- gosh-- 17 years. I grew up Southern Baptist and Pentecostal/ non denominational, though. So I sometime take things with a huge grain of salt and form my own conclusions; also know more quotes verbatim and where to find other things than most cradle Catholics I know. Though I tend to recite the King James version I heard so much as a kid.

And I've been a working musician pretty much all of that time, so I've seen more "behind the scenes" hypocritical behavior than most-- another thing that makes one a little cynical and jaded at times. But the only time I feel God at all these days is through music, so I'm thinking it would be a Bad Thing to give that up.

[hobgoblinn.livejournal.com]

yeah, I've noticed that too. But then, you've been putting up with the nonsense a Lot longer, too.

*hugs*

[zeegrindylows.livejournal.com]

What has always struck me about that reading is not her despair itself, but the same despair that echoes in another scripture somewhat later on, "they have taken my Lord's body, and I do not know where they have laid him."

For me, what shines through is our own horrible impotence in the face of loss and our desperate cry for comfort, whether it's our need to berate the Lord for not being there during X situation, or our desperate desire to at least look at the dead body when we're convinced that the living thing is gone.

The thing about that, of course, is that in both situations, that impotence was covered up by a power and miracle so massive that much of the time, we forget the lament that came before it entirely.

[hobgoblinn.livejournal.com]

Wow. Thanks for this reflection. Maybe I'll hear more of this next year. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be forgetting the lament, though.

[zeegrindylows.livejournal.com]

I doubt we're really supposed to forget it.

I can't hear either reading without crying.

[snarkysneak.livejournal.com]

THE WHITE HAIR AND SMALL STATURE IS AN ACT I TELL YOU! One thing that can put the fear of God into most young children is an angry little old lady...it worked with me! I think the Good Monsignor is just jealous because your son doesn't see him as formidable an authority figure as your his sponsor. Pfffft, I say.

So how did dinner turn out?

[hobgoblinn.livejournal.com]

Dinner turned out well. No fire extinguishers were harmed in the making of it. I'm not over fond of beans, but his version was not as sweet as the concoction his godmother makes (with pork and beans, not campbells bean soup.) So all in all, not bad.

[heron-pose.livejournal.com]

Gah. So sad that the Monsignor needs to take whatever his problems are out on you and the Wee Hob this way. And by sad, I mean total enraging BS, of course.

Still, the two of you will prevail eventually. I can feel these things.

Dinner? Wee Hob is doing some compensating, isn't he?

::hugs::