Ramblings from the 'goblinn

I was thinking about my LJ friends tonight mostly because I was writing, which is something I do far too little of these days. Did double script pages tonight for Script frenzy, which is to say I'm now up to 10 pages. Then I took a break and read the f-list, checked my yahoo account and saw that ODD was losing its hosting domain. Felt sad that I haven't been to the site in a couple of years, maybe more.

Anyway, fandoms do this, or people change in their reading tastes. We were lucky to have an internet that made possible our entry into fandom even after the glory days of it had passed. I read most of the to me exciting new Buffy stories after the show ceased production and had come out on DVD. Another technology to thank.

I did decide to go with a variant of the Job story for my script, but I decided to focus on a character who knows everything-- what will happen, how all the parts of the universe fit together-- everything but why he's the way he is. Oh, and he likes being around us, so he dwells among us. I haven't worked it all out yet, but I think there's a real difference between the God most people envision-- the one who has a Plan and Makes Things Happen-- and one who just loves and yet gets saddled with a lot of human conceptions of what a God must be like. Like we make God in our own image, ascribe power we maybe think we would like, and none of us is really happier or more enlightened for it. And while we're so busy focusing on power, some of us forget to Love each other and all that, which is really more the point, isn't it?

My character has changed over the ages as he has wandered the earth, and at the moment he seems to be a 16 year old boy who's been accused of murder.

Will have to read the Easter Vigil readings again-- I heard some things that gave me ideas for the story while I was listening and worrying about whether or not I would be able to sing the next Psalm right. But after the very long weekend of singing I was too exhausted to remember anything of use.

I hope you are all well and happy, friends. My eldest turns 20 on the 12th, and Wee Hob will be 17 on the 14th. Where has the time gone?

And I have the music for the opening sequence of my file script: Perpetuum Mobile by the Penguin Cafe Orchestra.

This review of a new novel by Gabriel Garcia Marquez ends with a line that gives further support to my feelings about Modern Literature. Peter Grier concludes:

"This spare book is thus an examination of the nature of complicity and fate, and of how a searing event can alter many lives over time. It is not nearly as wild and mysterious as ''One Hundred Years of Solitude,'' or as experimental as Garcia Marquez's other novel, ''The Autumn of the Patriarch.'' It is probably not a major work at all. Yet it is an exquisite performance, for its evocation of a frontier village ethos if nothing else. It makes novels about midlife crisis and divorce in Manhattan seem like whining, not writing."

I'll have to have a look. Though I know less about South American frontier villages than I know about midlife crises and divorce in Manhattan....

( New School Term Update )

( Wee Hob Update )

( General Writing and Doubts Update )

More on Doubt:

Most people on my f-list have already seen it on sahiya's journal, but if you missed it, she recently posted a link to a very helpful article: Too Much Self Doubt? Try Thinking Like a Creator. I posted a link on my school blog. Some students assume they're the only ones who have ever been paralyzed by self doubt and feelings of inadequacy when they are trying to write. I hope they are helped to know the feelings are normal and that I've been there, too.

Sitting by the lake tonight with my Beloved gave me an idea of something I might be able to write. He teasingly told me I loved the green growing things because I am a wood elf. It struck me that I have always felt an outsider, a changeling in my world. That's a theme I think I could explore in fiction. A lot of what passes for modern "literature" leaves me cold-- even if well written, why do I really want to read about 2 couples having dinner where the husband of one and the wife of the other are having an affair and they all know it? Bleh. I hope never to have anything in common with that.

The foregoing example came from Francine Prose's How to Read as a Writer, which is excellent, even if her examples make me despair a bit of having anything literary to say. Ever. Also of knowing enough to say anything not stupid, which is why the other article was so timely for me.

Thus ends the State of the Hobgoblinn Address for this week. Stay cool, everyone.

( It is really different, being back in LJ land.... )

( On the writing front... )

There's also the existential angst I'm dealing with just now, which I will not go into at present. Except to note, that this, too saps one's strength. Or maybe that's just the cold.

Hugs to all.

( Writing Update first )

( Life and Employment )

I've tried to keep up with everybody, but I have to admit I don't check my F list every day, and I have been doing some selective skipping and skimming. Sorry for that. At least over the next week I'll try to do better. Then my Beloved will be here for two weeks, and all bets are off.

Hey friends,

Especially antennapedia, xdawnfirex (as Rainne), clavally, nemaihne, father_turtle (as Nathan Blackpen):

Are any of you Not planning to do Nano this year? It's in its 10th year. I'm not going to win, but I think I'm going to participate and commit to writing almost every night, except when my Beloved is here, when I'm sure I can find other uses for my typing fingers....

Oh, sorry. TMI. I ask the people above because they're on my Nano page as friends and it's depressing not to see their word counts get above 0 all month. Any friends who are participating this year, let me know and I'll add you. I'm hobgoblinn, there as well as here.

And Wee Hobgoblinn is getting a Young Writer's Program account (with my email as the contact point, so I can keep an eye on what he does-- I also have his password. Hey, he's 13. And long time readers of this journal know all about his questionable judgement. But I want him to do stuff like this, if he wants to try.) Anyone who wants to leave him encouragement through the month, comment on my journal and I'll see he gets the message.

Also, anybody seen anything from mini_nanowrimo or wrisomifu lately? I do want to sign up for the lower word count versions, as I'm more likely to hit those this year.

And for anybody who's curious, I'm planning to do just what i did last year, if not as obsessively. Which is write on things I need to, switching among several stories as I get logjammed on one. I won't tell Chris Baty if you don't. You got the early drafts of In Loco Parentis out of last year's Nano, when I hit the wall on the Lost boys Sequel-- I hope this year to get both a lot closer to finished.

First things first. I have been blessed to have two very wonderful betas working with me for the first part of "In Loco Parentis." But it's gotten much longer than any of us ever thought it would, and it has been going on over a much longer time. Real life and other disasters (and triumphs) have gotten in the way, and it looks like both sahiya and research_girl are going to need to bow out. I can't overemphasize how much I've appreciated their time and talent, nor how much I have learned from them.

But my loss might be your incredible gain. If any of you f-listers in the Harry Potter fandom would like to beta for me on the rest of In Loco, shoot me a private message with your email. I'll put you the google docs version of a representative first draft of an earlier chapter so you can see what kind of feedback I've been getting, and on the current ch10 draft. You'd also get first crack at my sequel to "Lost Boys", which I hope to be able to start posting by Christmas (it being a Christmas fic and all).

Finally, gillo, I haven't forgotten my now Fall of Giles story. I've just seen you so busy and happy lately I haven't wanted to bother you. And of course, I have been likewise. Let me know if you need to be added to the list of former betas--that story has Really dragged out a long while. And know how much I have appreciated your work on the very earliest versions of that story.

Betas are like the pearl of great price, people, and I have been very blessed in mine over my years in fandom. Go hug yours today. Hug mine, too, while you're at it.

My Snape essay got kinda taken over by this one. Thanks to the denizens of the Yahoo Group loose_canon for the recent discussions that led me to realize I need to get these issues straight before I can do much more with the story. They led me to pose the question there, in what sense is Dark Magic Evil? (Dark chocolate isn't, after all.) And here's what I've come to, for the purposes of my AU.

( Dark Magic is unadulterated Evil... )

Apologies to those who have already seen this on antennapedia's journal-- I have a number of friends now I know are not on her list, so I thought I'd share, too. This is a fantastic essay on POV in fandom. My comment may be of interest here, but really, the whole thread and comments are well worth a look. Enjoy.

Sadly, the poll mentioned is now closed. ETA: No, I just got word that there was an issue with the poll-owner's account which has been resolved. Have fun taking the poll.

I better get some work done, long as I'm here.

Well, part 5 of my EIP (Epic in Progress) is now up on ff net: here.

I'm pleased with how it's going, even as I despair of getting any further or fixing the glaring deficiencies every time I sit down to it. I owe a huge debt to my betas, not only on this work (research_girl and sahiya) but also on other work, past and present. You all know who you are. I'm too afraid of missing any to list you all out. It's weird though-- I really have written a lot over the past year and a half.

slaymesoftly posed an interesting question about betas recently on riters_r_us. How do you deal as a beta with a writer who really is Bad? I'm not that bad, but I am painfully aware my imperfections must also be painful (or painfully funny maybe at times) to read. But I noticed going through the beta notes on this part, that after I cleared away the things they noted, it somehow gave me insight into things they hadn't complained about. I added some things, tweaked some others, and I can just feel that it's better than it would have been. It's almost like clearing away the dead wood let the rest flourish.

And it also let me pull my focus away from some things I thought were bad that they didn't mention, to see other things. To trust that they were okay enough to move on and see something I hadn't before. Not sure I can explain it any better, but I am quite grateful for how it worked out.

Happy Holy Saturday to all.