Life Update
Aug. 16th, 2008 11:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hobgoblinnI guess I have been a little quiet lately. I hadn't realized how much this journal, and writing, and fanfic had been filling a void in my life until I had something more real to compare it to.
When I went home, I met someone who, in another sense I have known for more than twenty years. A friend from middle and high school. We went to the prom together, in fact. But we were then never more than friends, and we went to different colleges and parted amicably and all that. When I was going home, on a lark I decided to look him up. He'd done something similar a few years ago, but being embroiled in court badness, we didn't do more than exchange a couple of emails. But this time, even though he no longer lives in our old hometown, he arranged to come up for the last weekend I was there, to hang out, see my mom, meet my son, and just catch up. We both have the disastrous marriage/ painful divorce thing in common.
I really thought there was no way anything could come of this but maybe a renewed distant friendship. We live in different timezones, and I don't recall being overwhelmingly attracted to the boy I knew. Imagine my surprise to discover, halfway through the weekend he spent with us in our old hometown, that while I was fond of the boy, he has grown up, not only into someone really beautiful and special, but someone with whom I actually have more in common than I did all those years ago. So many things we have come to completely independently of one another. And he never ceases to surprise me with his depth and maturity, with who he's become. He's a man I want to get to know better. And for some unaccountable reason, he feels the same way about me.
It's too soon to say what this might grow to over time. And honestly, my life has been a mess. I wouldn't date me. But even knowing this, he wants to stay close, and even visit up here at the end of next month. He likes Wee Hob, even if he worries that never having been a dad he won't know how to fill that role, if this should really go anywhere. I pointed out that mostly what he needs is good men in his life, and I already know my friend has that pretty much covered.
Anyway, that's a long explanation for why I haven't been reading much live journal, or fanfic, or writing. I do intend to get back to the latter. But can I just say that real life is a whole lot more interesting and satisfying than fantasy?
Hope everyone else is doing well. If there's something you've posted over the past couple of weeks that you'd like to call to my attention, please leave me a comment. And if I haven't said it lately, thanks, friends, for being there. I know very well I wouldn't be at the place I am now, if it weren't for a fair few of you.
When I went home, I met someone who, in another sense I have known for more than twenty years. A friend from middle and high school. We went to the prom together, in fact. But we were then never more than friends, and we went to different colleges and parted amicably and all that. When I was going home, on a lark I decided to look him up. He'd done something similar a few years ago, but being embroiled in court badness, we didn't do more than exchange a couple of emails. But this time, even though he no longer lives in our old hometown, he arranged to come up for the last weekend I was there, to hang out, see my mom, meet my son, and just catch up. We both have the disastrous marriage/ painful divorce thing in common.
I really thought there was no way anything could come of this but maybe a renewed distant friendship. We live in different timezones, and I don't recall being overwhelmingly attracted to the boy I knew. Imagine my surprise to discover, halfway through the weekend he spent with us in our old hometown, that while I was fond of the boy, he has grown up, not only into someone really beautiful and special, but someone with whom I actually have more in common than I did all those years ago. So many things we have come to completely independently of one another. And he never ceases to surprise me with his depth and maturity, with who he's become. He's a man I want to get to know better. And for some unaccountable reason, he feels the same way about me.
It's too soon to say what this might grow to over time. And honestly, my life has been a mess. I wouldn't date me. But even knowing this, he wants to stay close, and even visit up here at the end of next month. He likes Wee Hob, even if he worries that never having been a dad he won't know how to fill that role, if this should really go anywhere. I pointed out that mostly what he needs is good men in his life, and I already know my friend has that pretty much covered.
Anyway, that's a long explanation for why I haven't been reading much live journal, or fanfic, or writing. I do intend to get back to the latter. But can I just say that real life is a whole lot more interesting and satisfying than fantasy?
Hope everyone else is doing well. If there's something you've posted over the past couple of weeks that you'd like to call to my attention, please leave me a comment. And if I haven't said it lately, thanks, friends, for being there. I know very well I wouldn't be at the place I am now, if it weren't for a fair few of you.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-19 03:18 am (UTC)I wish you well in this new friendship. How wonderful that he and Wee Hob get along. :-)